Time to Think
by wave1347
Summary: In the aftermath of the human shuttles finally leaving for good, Jake has time to consider how he feels to be forever shunt of his home planet and all he's ever known.


The silence left in the wake of the RSA's departure was outside Jake's experience. It was strange to think that, no, they weren't just leaving the area, they were leaving the planet. They were going six years away, fleeing to a tiny point of light in the sky.

"Jake." Neytiri came to stand beside him, glowing out at a night that blushed blue and green and purple, an ocean of color stretching out far below the cliff they stood on. In the distance, a plume of smoke still rose from the ashes of Hometree's corpse.

"Sorry," Jake said. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"It is alright," she said quietly. For a while they both listened to the night sounds.

"You are sad?" Neytiri said, gently touching his shoulder.

Jake smiled to himself. Though he felt he knew Neytiri's heart more surely than anything in the world, and she his, he knew his moods were sometimes hard for her to decipher – they were still human, too alien to her.

He hesitated before answering. "I don't know."

His tail twitched in surprise as Neytiri wrapped her hands around him from behind. She pressed her body against his, laid her cheek on his neck and smoothed it back and forth. He could feel her beating heart.

"You are sad," she said. "Because of Grace, and the fighting, and _Kelutral_." Her strong voice wavered when she spoke the Na'vi word for the Hometree. "And now that the fighting is over, you have time to think again."

"For a while you didn't care too much for my thinking," Jake said, smiling a little.

"Like a baby," Neytiri said, and Jake felt her lips twitch against his neck. "Sometimes still like a baby, but learning."

He looked down at the forest which was shining like a galaxy, saw the hammocks strung between branches – it was a refugee camp, a painful parting shot from humanity. When was the last time the Omaticaya had to deal with a disaster like this? Or maybe no disaster of this scale had ever happened to Pandora, to the Na'vi.

They were his people now – he was one of them in every way that counted. After all the death, all the guilt and rage, it was the only good thing left. But why were his eyes so hot, the forest dissolving into a blue-green blur?

Neytiri knew. Unable to see his face, she still knew. "Jake," she said softly, coming around to stand in front of him. "My Jake." She drew him in again, tugged him down to sit with her as he shook his head. She sat behind him and rested her head on his back.

"You have left your home," she said, running her hands up and down his arms. "And everything you know."

"I'm not really leaving anything behind," Jake said, staring out, not really seeing. "Didn't have many friends. No family left, not after Tom -- " he stopped.

"It is much to think about," Neytiri said, gripping his arms tightly with her warm hands.

"This is what I wanted," Jake said. "Before... all this, back when you were teaching me, I started to feel like this was the real world, and my other body was just... some dream. Even a month in, I felt like that."

"Of course," Neytiri said softly. "You were not like the other Sky People." Her breath tickled his ear.

"I'm never going to see Earth again," he said. "I'm never going to see it again." Now it finally set in. This tour wasn't going to end, there wasn't going to be a shuttle home. He was glad, happier than he'd been in a long time, and it wasn't just losing the wheelchair. And now, even in Neytiri's arms, he suddenly felt alone again, almost like when he'd first been discharged.

Neytiri was silent for a moment. "Sky People came from far away," she finally said. "You told me that, yes? Very far away."

"Very far," Jake said quietly.

"But you left, and came to Pandora."

"I wanted to leave Earth behind," Jake said, "that's what you mean. So why be sad?"

"Why be sad?" Neytiri echoed in his ear. She pulled them both back, until they were prone, with his head on her stomach. Polyphemus dominated the sky.

"I feel alone, and I don't know why," he said finally.

Neytiri's fingers were in his hair. "You are not alone, Jake. The other Sky People, you were never like them. You were Na'vi inside first, and Eywa made you Na'vi outside. Except for these," she said, giggling a little and wrapping her four toes around his five.

"Yeah, a little souvenir from some human DNA," he said.

"We live, Jake," she said into his ear, looking up into the glowing leaves. She took his five-fingered hand in her four-fingered one. "And we will be as we were, sooner than you think."

"We live," Jake repeated.

"You are Omaticaya," Neytiri said. "Don't forget. Not human – Omaticaya. They will need you. I need you."

They retreated to their hammock a short time later, and twined together like the branches above, chased with glowing moss.

"My Jake," Neytiri breathed sleepily. He held her closer.

----------

When Jake woke the next morning, he was briefly surprised to still be in his Avatar body. _Na'vi body, _he corrected himself. _My only body, now. _

_That _ thought would take some getting used to.

Neytiri was drawn in against his side, one arm thrown over his chest. Jake brushed the hammock curled over above their heads, and it rolled back with a quiet rustle.

Neytiri stirred and sat up next to him, blinking hard against the shafts of sunlight streaming down through the canopy above. No sleepy eyes here – the hunter was instantly and completely awake.

"You are feeling better now?" she asked without preamble.

"Fine," Jake said. "I'm fine." And he did feel better. Not perfect, but better.

"Good. Then it is time to talk," she said.

"Yeah, about what?" He stretched hugely, raising his hands over his head, falling back prone on the swaying hammock.

"You know the lands of the Omaticaya, but that is all you know," Neytiri said without preamble. It is all I know. To lead the People, we must know more. You must know enough to guide them well."

"So, what?" Jake said. "You want us to explore further, you mean?"

"Yes, explore," Neytiri said. "Journey. The forest has many secret places. And there are many forests, and the plains, and mountains. Olo'eyctan must know these places, and the Na'vi who live there. And they must know you. You see?"

"What about the People?"

Neytiri shook her head. "They know already what we must do. They will find a new _Kelutral_. They will bury the dead, send them to Eywa. They will weave, and hunt, and heal.

"I see," Jake said. He bowed his head, considering his sense of duty, and the new expectations already placed on him. He looked up. "When do we leave?"

Neytiri's sharp teeth showed in a wide grin, and she reached for his hand._ We leave now_.

There really was no rest. And he didn't need it, he realized. He felt fresh, more alive on this Pandoran morning than he'd ever felt.

_Hoo-rah_ .


End file.
